Episode 1: The Break-Up
Improv words: chesterfield, spaced
Gromph and Flartt, who have been friends for many years, are carrying a large chesterfield through an apartment door.
Gromph:
Somehow I don't remember this chesterfield being so big.
Flartt:
As I recall you weren't available when Ashu and I moved into the house.Gromph:
Well I was in a coma...
Flartt:
A fact you conveniently used to get out of any kind of work for two months. I'm surprised you didn't try to use that excuse again this time.
Gromph:
I tried to get my head accidentally cracked again, but you'd be amazed how difficult that is.
Flartt:
Oh look, a lucky penny....(Flartt bends down to pick up change, loosening his grip on the chesterfield, as he does the chesterfield drops on it's side and knocks him in the head). Owwwww!
Gromph:
You allright little buddy?
Flartt:
Wha happened...?
Gromph:
You hit your head.
Flartt:
Whose head?
Gromph:
Maybe you should sit down here on the chesterfield.
Flartt:
The what?
Gromph:
Couch.
Flartt:
Oh! (sits on the chesterfield/couch)
Gromph:
Well, we were done moving anyway, the chesterfield was the last of it. I can't believe you lived with Ashu for all those years and all you ended up with was a few boxes and this (points to chesterfield).
Flartt:
Who's Ashu?
Gromph:
Your girlfriend--or your ex-girlfriend I guess. You broke up with her remember? You asked if you could move in here with me till you got your own place. Don't you remember?
Flartt:
Sure, yeah, course I remember. Yeah, Ashu. (pause) Hey did I tell you she and I broke up.
Gromph:
I heard.
Flartt:
D'ya know she's seeing that guy from the bank. The guy, you know, when we went to go get our mortgaged renewed--the bank guy. Whassisname?
Gromph:
The banker.
Flartt:
Yeah. They knew each other from school and when you and I went to that, uh conference, he uh, he and she...she uh and he...
Gromph:
Schtooped?
Flartt:
Yeah. Who told you?
Gromph:
You did--yesterday. When you asked if you could move in here with me.
Flartt:
I don't feel so good, maybe I ought ta lie down.
Gromph:
Better not, you might be concussed. We should get you to the doc.
No, no doc. I gotta go to that thing tonight.
What thing? Oh, the party...
Flartt:
Yeah, Ashu will be there. TJ invited us. I gotta go, let her know I'm doin fine without her. I don't need her. She's always telling me what to do. Now she can tell ol' whassisname what to do. Good ol' whassisname. He really got me out of a jam...I don' even miss er. D'ya think she missus me?
Gromph:
Let's go get you to the doc and get you checked out. Then if you get the green light, I'll take you to the party.
Later that evening, at TJ's party...
Flartt:
Look Gromph, you gotta hep me. I feel a lil spaced out. Weird like. Those pills the doc gave me, they make me kind of out of it.
Gromph:
No really, gee I never would have guessed.
Oh look, there's Ashu.
Gromph:
Who?
Flartt:
Ashu.
Gromph:
Gesundheit.
Flartt:
No, there's Ashu and whassisname. Dang, whas his name?
Ashu, looking spectacular as ever, walks over to Gromph and Flartt, tagging along behind her is her new boyfriend, the banker named Zonks.
Flartt. Gromph. Wasn't expecting to you see you tonight.
Gromph:
Hello Ashu, who's your new boytoy?
Ashu:
Gromph, this is Zonks.
Zonks:
Lovely to meet you.
Gromph:
Lovely to meet you...guy.
Zonks shakes Gromph's hand, then goes to shake Flartt's hand, Flartt instead sticks his thumb to his nose, sticks out his tongue and makes a face at Zonks.
What kind of guy says lovely to meet you...oooh lovely to meet you darling (fake British accent).
Gromph:
Oooh, how lovely! (fake British accent)
Ashu:
You two, you never grow up do you? Thank goodness I've finally met a real man! And Zonks actually makes money, not just jokes.
Flartt:
Hey, makin jokes is a respectable profession. At least I work for my money, not like ol' lovely man here who just sits behind a desk all day and spits out numbers--like some kind of machine.
Flartt, who is reeling from the pain killers the doctor gave him a couple hours earlier, takes a swing at Zonks but misses and ends up flat on the floor instead.
Ashu:
Oh Flartt, you always were a clutz!Ashu and Zonks walk away, arm and arm.
Flartt puts out his hand and his buddy Gromph helps pull him up to his feet.
Gromph:
Come on little buddy, let's go home.
Flartt:
Gromph?
Gromph:
Yea?
Flartt:
Did I get him? Did I hit him that smug sonofa...
Gromph:
Yeah, you got him. Right in his lovely old face.
Flartt:
Ooooh, how lovely.
