Esque News Update: Tacomania Restaurant Patrons Arrested

Tacomania restaurants now have a secret weapon against the competition. Or rather a secret ingredient. Since last Friday, Tacomania has been selling their new and improved tacos that contain a special seasoning developed by scientists from the Kensey Institute.

For years now, Kensey scientists have been studying the effects of food on brain chemistry and have found that certain spices when mixed together with chemical compounds elicit rather, well let's say, excited feelings in persons as these foods are consumed.

Since Tacomania began the sale of items containing these spices, numerous patrons have been arrested for making too much noise and creating a public disturbance. Said one patron as they were being driven away by police, "that was the biggest tacogasm I've ever had!"

`

Esque News Update: Changes to Police Services Bike Patrol Unit

Local city police services are badly in need of more funding. It was announced today at City Hall that, due to budget cutbacks, the Bike Patrol Unit will no longer be able to afford new bicycles and will instead be outfitting officers with pogo sticks.

The Pogo Patrol should be on the streets as early as this summer. Police Services have already begun promoting the program, hoping to appeal to a younger, hipper demographic by announcing that the “Po Po is on the Pogo!”